Skipping past the rest of that birth story, I went in to my second pregnancy with a totally different mind-set. I hadn’t overcome my previous birth [trauma] story and I had so many questions as to why things happened the way that they did. I knew what I wanted to do differently this time so I educated myself by doing a hypnobirthing course and by listening to a lot of positive birth meditation tracks. This was amazing! It educated me on labour and birthing options, calming and breathing techniques, birthing positions and mainly that I had choices and had the right to question things and say NO! Let’s just say that this birth was 10 times and more, better than my first experience, and that was due to being more educated.
The thing with birth, your world is changed whether you’re a first-time mum, second, third time mum, etc. Your hormones go nuts, you live on broken sleep, you’re in demand 24/7 and responsible for a tiny human…but who supports you, the mum? I suffered severely with PPD more so after the arrival of my second daughter. I had two tiny humans who were 14 months apart, I had very limited immediate family to support me and to be vulnerable around. I felt like I needed to be strong, in control and carry-on, day in, and day out without really focussing on my own well-being. I wish I had someone who was there for me during my pregnancy, an ear to share my thoughts, ideas, concerns and worries. I wish I had someone in the birthing suite during my births advocating for me other than my partner, reminding me that I am strong, I can do this and bring me back in to alignment when I’d deviate from my birth plan knowing how important it was to me to achieve.
I wish I had someone who followed and supported me during this time to debrief with, and to ask me how I AM going, genuinely and not to make me feel unvalidated. Well, my friend, if this is the kind of support that you are seeking, someone to remind you that ‘you can do it’ that ‘you’re doing amazing’ and that ‘you’re not alone’, and to be there postnatally as well, then this next bits for you.